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I WANT TO EXIST.

by Wilbur Force

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1.
late night abandon with lamps out demanding I fell down the stairs and went out that door when I felt my dilation, the bomb of perception assemble the structure they paid me to kiss, do the same and enlist built these walls out your bad thoughts I'm in it, I'm in there with prosaic emptiness of the lived-in mementos of authentic day yet I don't want your dregs still remain, so [You've had enough] Don't wake me up [You've had it all] No waiting up [Half underground] Just fading out [Here in the well] No thinking now fought lost the cause not at all worth the cost pacifism palate after-patterned in frost plastic at the root of its cause in how he bought her but here in the mirror infection's ferocious complicit subsistence business is collision trumped up in religion delusion is delicious half the sand that's sifted is relevant to revision mining in the meadow, murder from the get-go rent is all the debt, though, milk it for its marrow then just toss it down the ghetto, growing the global gitmo confidently murmuring further into Sonora, midnight the Modelo that painted the mural for ya heard it off the corporation under the clouds in buying every round the ground may run up on ya I'll be rolling like Diogenes Inigo Montoya
2.
In and out of focus in the game You're gonna have to pay the price to keep it nice, despite your rights, guy, whateveryoursayin, Telling how they told us It's a gap and a half Most folks never notice No gasp in the grasp In and out of focus in the game We're gonna write the height and fight the night and block the pipe to light the light knowwhatI'msayin You gotta back the check to track the facts between relaxed attacks You gotta know the road to go alone and friend a foe or roll to smoke your own knowwhatI'msayin We got a hold on it We're gonna shut it down liberty or tyranny, civility should never be a lottery, should never be a pharmacy should never be solidity in policy We got a ho-old on it We're gonna shut it down the irony to generate in everything an element of enmity that enemy mentality that elevate the penalty and celebrate celebrity to elevate the famous to replace a hundred faces relegated, ever-patient to the homicidal hatred lined by racial states adjacent within overlapping nations of ethnicity/vicinity scrutiny is new to me, but viewed it so I guess I see and still believe, and still perceive the mental leash the bell curve isn't quick-release but I'm half-free, so I lend me some reality offer some stability and burn some positivity We got a ho-old on it We're gonna shut it down Turn that pattern pound for pound We got a ho-old on it We're gonna shut it down burn that pattern pound for pound (youhearwhatI'msayin) In and out of focus in the game It's a gasp and a laugh what the gap in the grasp Lack of the pathos, wrath and a half Healing how they hold us see an err in the math Feeling out of focus fault lines in the past In and out of focus in the game We're gonna light the light that don't ignite the fight unlocks the sight to break the night so if you're buying what I'm selling forget the price, take what you found so if you pick up what I'm puttin down just raise the sound (ya know what I'm sayin) just break the illness break the illness [we're gonna break the illness!] break the illness [we're gonna break the illness!] (It's just justice!) just [break the illness!]
3.
Careful in the mornin' boy if they can't take your head they'll take your home Careful in the mornin' boy if they can't take your dead they'll take you dead Careful in the mornin' boy don't matter who you read they'll break your bones Careful in the mornin' boy if you don't take those meds they'll break your head Careful in the mornin' boy if you don't run that red they'll make you dead (OH MY GAWWWD) (OH MY GOD!) I-I-I-I can't fake my part like I know much better than anybody else I-I-I-I just wanna save some semblance of any memory that will help Careful in the mornin' boy I won't see you again it hurts my head Careful in the mornin' boy one of my closest friends and now you're dead
4.
(You never really know when it's been so long never really know it's all a grind, right letting things go till tomorrow You never really know) Try to maintain, but this layman's brain is a pain still I'm claimin a basic trainin stew in the membrane slain to the mane while the fuse to refusal remain entertainment and the furious blast ego from the past that never happened backs stacked in the class war flash flood backwood blood cash front of the cortex, ya better cop that gortex, 'cause the greed be reignin, and the slander stainin, but I felt my shelter and I hope I melt her, better watch now how you wield that English it's a lethal language, weave it wild naked, but I hold it sacred, and I crush my hatred any time I can not to feed that anguish, try to gain face in the place of a name better faith at the pace of the colors draining unexplained pains so it's strange saving strength for a task no one asked so I paint and I paint and I paint 'til I can't see the end of the tank the water's so tainted I sank into blank till it fade out the frame of it cashless wallets lawless oh such a shame what the fascists cream on a dream had capital culture the week grad manufacture a street fad wage slaves fashion the feed bag slash budget back to the cro-mag blasphemy crash in the speech tag still no cash back on the epitaph hashtag yo God where the weed at?
5.
Reaching through another day Turn the figure eight And hallucinate Try and find another way to anticipate but you're always late And I guess when you see it, I guess that you know it I must be blind Another sort of life than mine, that's what I oughta find That sort of life Outta this time That sort of life not easy to find Made it through another day Now I medicate let it resonate Light another and participate we defibrillate gonna celebrate And I guess when you know it, I guess that you seen it I must be blind I'm on the north side of nowhere to find That sort of life out of the sky That sort of life I could lead it, even after 5 That sort of life and the hello forgotten in the bye That sort of life through the nightly shower of your mind Like a flash in the pan last summer I waved to you I lucked out in the worst way ever and lay with you acted out of passion last summer and waited for you Left with lots of words now I'll never say to you Never find another way (That sort of life) Never find another way (That sort of life) Never find another way (That sort of life) Never find another way (That sort of life)
6.
you better get up, look up, upon the fair weather hold up, stand up, get your affairs together though the bread maker's broken at the prayer center and every thread you've written's ripped into its last letter I'll be your bone setter tethered at the lost never I can Plato all the play dough though I knew better cause these feels don't fit the structure like a third gender, but hold up, measure up and bust a hole, you can see beyond the fold work a service that's entirely superfluous, give it up for happiness, omens in the opulence corpulent socio-dialysis tell me what the problem is, tell me who Messiah was— heard he was an activist pacifist, a catalyst to avalanche abolishing the poverty of property and revenue attached to it, seeking to empower every addict of the battle stress empathy is healthy see it's party to humanity preaching what I practice is, nasty as the laugh I hit spit in living color vision risen as the Lazarus so call me blasphemous, Lucifer, Hesiod, John Snow— Rust Cohle, newest to the pantheon waterlogged, choking in a smog full of memories why's it such a struggle seeing six feet in front me guess it's just the atmosphere of massacre era of the demagogue, year of the vermin patriarchs a narcissist, classic as the classified murder obscured under a cult of classist violence like ALL COPS misogyny and murder are the matter, like all COPS I gotta a lotta friends that you all like to stomp on, set to take the fall another you get the drop on handle every matter with one hand on the handgun camped out on the corner smoking seized marijuana copped out under lock down 'til all this is stamped out sick of the dealt death, sick of the sick to death, and all that you stand for I'm sick how I stand by it's natural as the dirt I am, earth I am, never to own still with little to show, I'm internationally known with a dome that's perpetually grown, workin services entirely superfluous, happiness, lobotomy Anonymous Bosch, Hieronymus Boss, I thought of it tell you what the problem is you do us more harm than the lot of it but my friend, you better get up, look up, upon the fair weather hold up, stand up, get your affairs together though the bread maker's broken at the prayer center and every thread you've written's ripped into its last letter I'll be your bone setter tethered at the lost never I can Plato all the play dough though you knew better cause these feels don't fit the structure like a third gender, but if you ever play the volume to its last measure, it was a rare pleasure, and at your fair leisure, you can break it down, and listen up the better to that soul nectar, life's treasure life will get better, and through a tear you can get beyond the fold
7.
oh and soul, I know I never answered, won't you lay me out on my loan, hooked out on a sailing bird. I turned pages, pages and pages, only turned in bed into stone and I don't have nothing contagious and I know I'm ready to sell, no more snow out landing daily so many handlers down at the bureau getting so I'm ranting daily, getting so I know I'm ready to go, lady. because I turn and I know her. since I don't know her.
8.
_& I got nothing left to give _if I got nothing for these solitary kids sometimes when I was younger, used to wish that I could elevate or desolate my thoughts streamin', now I'm old enough to feel the pressure 'tween the centuries envelop me, I thank god I pass through these times with my third eye open, wish I had a couple more or I could pop a can that ever really close a few for forty winks against the reigning avarice so hazardous label living fathomless what you doing after this? oh these nights so cavernous sometimes when I get underneath the tide I try to ride it to the best of my ability to kill the world a little, but I recognize that hatred not source of every trouble but result, to pick the fault, adding insult to injury, the jury's still out, so pump the verdict in the nervous system so pump the verdict in the nervous system pump the verdict in the nervous system labor is detention, love is not convention struggle say depression is the mother of invention once upon a time I thought intention was the only thing I ever had to mention and I lived it by extension, then I thought the only thing that mattered was the ends, I mean and how far you descend to get there just depends and when I came back up I got the bends, broke a mirror with my second hands and then I thought I would transcend put a dollar in and hit the vend take too many and I never lend trail I bled is how I led now I see I'm only on the mend suffering is said, it's all up in your head send a tremble shudder treble speed to stutter step the guillotine before they wanna bastardize the honey bee _& I got nothing left to give _if I got nothing for these solitary kids walking down the alabaster alleyway, paved in dirty flagstones sinking but the city places higher value on their historicity than literacy, I don't have a patience level high enough to tolerate the regency and if you told me time was limited, I wasn't listening, too busy making other people's sandwiches, giving in a little every day to heartlessness, I'll part with this as soon as I get smart with this, but I know farther its so nebulous, defibrilate my sense of my identity find out that all that dignity's a function of humility, cash out check reality to center my integrity— and if at this point you're still with me, see the instrument of the position lies within you even when they wanna skin you the instrument of the position lies within you the instrument of the position lies within you You determine which way you face, which way you face when the sun is rising.
9.
House of the Exploding Star This house is built to stand no more holes so wide you see right through the floor as I'm walkin out the door you tell me something you once heard "Every day's the same and that's the word," oh word. That's why you're flippin me the bird You think I'm happy in your life Just you're bored, and I'm a fraid to die, oh my Well, darlin' that's a lie Knew it from the start no sense to try Just you're bored, and I'm a— friendly guy, oh my, but you don't wanna find out why Don't mean to make it sound so bad But as was written "Sometimes I feel so sad" But god, sometimes you send me mad When there's nothing left to live in And when there's nothing left to lift I will save this sinking ship This house is built to stand no more holes so wide you see right through the floor as I'm walkin out the door And I'm walkin out the door And I'm walkin out the door
10.
Get Lucid 01:38
I wanna be a path to the hearth at the crossfade found another half to the heart at the crossroads got another chance in the basement with Borges got another light bolt loaded in the crossbow got a lotta tears for the fears of the weird though got a lotta reasons to leave but I can't go wait I mean I don't go, wait I mean whoa gotta fight another boss here battle for the god mode settle in the lost mold, wait I mean that last mold growing in the citrus, I bit this and spit this it's garbage shift this at least it's a harbinger wandering, wonder if anyone's home I get up to come down I come on but sometimes come off too strong, like where you been I been too long, hope is the dope that corrupt this, finger pointer plasters the campaign up, thick mischief haunts long after its gone travelin the reaches of deep space dawn crater into place just the catch that jawn keep about the path just to switch us along pay another year just to make that toll and write another half just to fill that hole donut in the sky like ring of the bowl hold another hit of heaven stay woke to the soul toss a second pair of dice just to bring that home

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recorded underwater

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released March 21, 2016

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Wilbur Force Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

=WILBUR FORCE!=
"Frustratingly Romantic! Fiercely Anticapitalist!"

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